Why I Hate Cows More Than Any Other Animal
11-28-87 A cow sees me eat a tasty cheeseburger and with a evil glimer in its eye eats my panceus, thus making me a diabetic for life.

More True Storys of Animal Resistance
These are actuall storys that I read in the paper (the t.v. news is already to corupt by the evil animals) If you have any please e-mail them to me at Kurtis_J@fatbabies.com

12-1-00 A woodpecker pecks at a old mans wooden cane till it cracks, causeing the old man to fall and die. The woodpecker then ate his eyballs.

2-18-01 A hungry cow attacked a flock of vegetarians. Reports indicate that the cow already had killed the prey (grass) and that this flock of scavengers invaded its teritory.

2-23-01 A tucan, named sam, bit the nose of his owner, a Mr. Capt. Crunch. The Capt. shot the evil bird, saying "I think I am gunna get a chimp, probably that one with coco writin on his shirt."